The Photogenic Phallus?

Towering Tufas in Turkey

The penis is a very high-maintenance organ. I don't have empirical data on this, as a lesbian-type female person, this is only what I can deduce from the ongoing series of male politicians whose members seem to require extraordinary measures of care.

Yes, sagas of the philandering phallus are legend, Weiner's weiner being only the most recent chapter in a never-ending story that embraces Arnold Schwarzenegger and his love children, John Edwards with one more of the same who kept the affair closeted for as long as possible due to donations from a salty, old matron who is an heiress to the Carnegie-Mellon fortune.

I could recite an nearly endless laundry list of pay to play prostitution scandal boys and the cadre of closeted gay right -wing pundits who preach hatred by day of the hanky-panky they seek in bathroom stall and online.

The most egregious schlong-wrong of late, is the attempted rape of a hotel maid by former IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn. When the consent factor is eliminated and someone assumes that women are a perk that comes with a $3,000 a night hotel suite, this particular obscenity rises to the category of a felony.

Perhaps male equipment should come with a limited warranty and an instruction manual. But no matter how much use and abuse these overused appendages undergo, they still grab center stage. Comedians like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are forever making references to their schmeckels and scrota as if this conglomeration of turkey jerky makes the world go round. And the real problem is that, way too often, it does making the high profile world of politics and entertainment look more like one huge frat house.

So what does it all mean? They say if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Maybe us gals should take the hint, name our breasts and start photographing that velvet kitty! I don't think this will happen on a large scale for quite a while, if ever. The relationship of men to their genitals must be a totally different animal. The whole thing makes makes me glad I'm a dyke and really don't really have to worry about my body parts setting off on their own and making decisions without me.

Euthanasia: When Enough is Enough

Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the man who brought the issue of assisted suicide to the forefront of the American cultural dialogue, is dead at 83. Although there may be some questions around certain specific patients, the right to die, when there are no viable medical options left, should be cherished and preserved by all people who place value on ending unnecessary suffering. Euthanasia is legal today only in the states of Oregon and Washington.

This is an issue that has shaped my life. My parents had an agreement, dating back to the early days of their marriage, that if one of them became terminally ill, the other would help them leave this life. In 1973, when my mother was 48 years old, she was diagnosed with metastatic ovarian cancer. Her doctor said it was the worse case he had ever witnessed with diseased cells all over her internal organs. Since they couldn't remove the massive malignancy, they sewed her back up and started her on a massive dose regimen of chemotherapy on the off-chance that it might work. Chemotherapy was quite primitive in those days and she became very ill. Now, she was in constant pain, vomiting all the time and her face was so gaunt that is was readily apparent that she was wasting away. A month had passed since her futile surgery and the painkillers were no longer working. We all knew that it was time.

Fortunately, my mother had been a chronic insomniac so she had lots of pills and prescriptions in her name. Nembutal and Seconal are opiates and the strongest of her arsenal. I counted out pills for her. My father and a close family friend I'll call Danny were at her bedside helping by putting pinpricks in each pill so it would work faster. She was still well enough to swallow, and swallow she did until every pill was gone. After she fell unconscious my father and Danny left the hospital.

That night, something terrible happened. Somehow, probably by intuitive logic, the nurses and doctors figured out what was happening. They took my mother and pumped her stomach. The next morning she telephoned us from her bed in a barely audible, anguished voice that sounded like it was coming straight from the grave. All she could say over and over again was, "I'm still here!"

At this point, the hospital administration was threatening to charge my father with murder. What saved him from this further ordeal was the fact that the prescriptions were in my mother's name and she was still alert enough to take them. Also, the fact that she spent that night alone was key.

My mother died three days later. Although the pills didn't finished her off, they weakened her system significantly, hastening her demise. We were all extremely relieved that she was free of pain and that we would no longer have to witness her suffering.

Years later, Dr. Jack Kevorkian came upon the scene providing the service that we had so desperately needed. It's not an ideal solution but, given that our lives are finite, it's an insurance policy of sorts, the best we can hope for under the most dire of circumstances. 

The Fickle Finger of Fate

A Healthy
Finger

Growing up my younger sister was a bit like my child. I was only five when she was born and a five-year old mom is at a real parenting disadvantage. We were often left to our own devices. Sometimes that involved sitting outside of some bar in the car entertaining each other while Mom and Dad were inside getting sloshed. Other times it just involved fending for ourselves in the world. Even in their absence, there was always food in the refrigerator, soda pop in the cupboard and tons of alcohol in the cabinets.

The summer when Lori was five she was trying to split a popsicle in two with a very sharp knife. When she cut through skin instead of ice, the blood was everywhere. I could see the bones of her finger which, fortunately, were still joined. I knew to put pressure on the wound and tie it with a dish towel until the bleeding was under control. Lori had finally stopped crying by the time I bandaged it with gauze and tape from the medicine cabinet. The skin grew together and her finger healed. Our parents never noticed a thing.

One day on our weekends with our grandparents, our grandma noticed the slightly bloated, immobile appendage and inquired about it. We told her of the accident and how we fixed it. She asked my sister to move her finger (which was an index finger) and she could not. It just hung there on her hand. She had accepted her new reality of a motionless finger without question, as children do.

My grandma told our mother about the finger and soon after a doctor examined it. He scheduled and performed a surgical procedure to tie the tendons back together. While it was healing there was a wire in her finger with a button at the end of it, holding it straight and in place.

Well, my sister's finger healed, the tendons grew back together and after the wire and button were removed it worked again, she could bend it and stretch it out, the way she used to. Which illustrates the nearly boundless capacity for healing and profound resilience of the human body.

The human psyche has this capacity as well. I seem to be spending much of my sixtieth year coming to terms with my experiences and my life. It's not a question of dwelling on the negative. To me it means acceptance, catharsis, making peace with my story and then moving on to the later chapters of my life.

The Things We Do For Work

We're seeing some victories but mostly we're being creamed. Yes, a judge in Wisconsin declared Scott Walkers' attack and railroading through of an anti-worker, anti-union proposal unconstitutional. And folks are pushing back against the Ryan plan to eliminate Medicare. This is helping some Democrats in Republican districts, Kathy Hochul, NY in particular, get elected.

The creamed part has led us to sweeping anti-worker legislation ushered in under the misnomer of "pension reform," forcing public sector employees to pay for the financial meltdown with meager paychecks as financial inequality increases the rich make more money and pay less taxes than ever.

Which brings me to the topic, The Things We Do For Work, which tend to be as desperate and drastic as The Things We Do For Love, but with a more limited result...like paddling against the current in a river just to stay in the same place and not be swept backwards, downstream.

My sister is in a situation where she is vulnerable to being swept downstream in a civil service job related to Social Services in a large Bay Area County that shall remain nameless. She was accepted for promotion to a higher level job and wound up with an anal, newly hired manager, twenty years her junior who is trying to ramp up her hard-ass boss lady title at my sister's expense. She wrote up a three month review for my sister that, although only about one quarter "needs improvement" said at the end is no uncertain terms that she may not pass her probationary period and keep her job.

Now my sister has worked, as a union-protected employee, for over five years in this county. In other words she is "vested." But there is a catch in a new probationary period. You don't necessarily get bounced back to your old job and can conceivably wind up on the street. All for the sin of taking a risk and accepting a promotion. What does this mean if it exposes you to job vulnerability that you didn't have before? It's all very scary and let's just say she is swimming as fast as she can, submitting rebuttals and getting everything in writing.

A friend of hers has another horror story of work probation in another Social Services job at the county level. Hers ends at five months before her probationary period ended. She was just simply informed that she didn't get the job and should just leave, no explanation, nada. She believes it was over a difference of opinion but will never know for sure. She wound up going back to another job that had accepted her previously but she'd turned down. They took her on at $10,000 less salary per year than was offered during her first interview. She took the job at the reduced rate even though it's a couple of hours away and requires her to rent a room during her work week and drive back for weekends. Both huge additional expenses not to mention inconveniences.

So, these are the kind of things we do for work in this so-called economic recovery as the public sector is decimated and all these new jobs that are being created seem to be at McDonald's and Starbucks for eight to ten dollars an hour. Welcome to the New Economy!

San Jose Mayor Declares Financial Martial Law

King Chuck

San Jose City Council has voted 8-3, after a three-hour afternoon meeting, to set up a June 21 hearing in which the council will vote on formally declaring a "fiscal state of emergency'" and deciding which budget slashing measures might be taken to voters in November.

This comes in response to the Mayor of San Jose, Chuck Reed's draconian proposal to layoff employees, cut city services and make whatever changes he deems necessary to the existing contracts of public sector workers.

Reed, (a Democrat and former Air Force Officer), is following in the shady, despicable footsteps of governors Scott Walker (R, WI), Rick Snyder (R, MI), Paul LePage (R, ME), John Kasich (R, OH) and Rick Scott (R, FL), but instead of simply tampering with collective bargaining rights and the rights of democratically elected officials to govern, Reed has taken things a step further to justify the wholesale elimination of jobs and bargaining rights as well as the dismantling of crucial services.

According to California State Law: "a local emergency means conditions of disaster or extreme peril to the safety of people and property, which are likely to be beyond the control of the services, personnel, equipment or facilities of a city or county."

Demonstrating another example of rampant Disaster Capitalism, Reed, who asserts that public employees have no "vested rights" and intends to cut the number of city employees from 4,200 to 1,600. His plan entails creating a mostly volunteer police and fire department, closing all community centers and all libraries except for one, curtailing health benefits freezing pension pay increases for current employees and eliminating them for future workers.  

Status, Emotions and Disclosure in the Workplace

Emotional Expressions

In October of 2010 an interesting study by Kraus, Cote and Keltner was published that correlated lower socio-economic status with an increased ability to recognize the emotions others may be experiencing. They postulated that this ability among the have-less has been developed as a survival skill in the true Darwinian sense of the term. Wealthier people are less dependent on others for their safety and well-being therefore they have not perfected the art of anticipating their needs. But working class and poorer folks' destinies are more dependent on the external world and the fickle winds of fate. They are not more compliant when confronted with those needs, just more observant.

Another fact they discovered is that what they termed "lower-class" individuals are more expressive to begin with than those of higher economic status, something I have frequently observed in various job environments.
When I worked in a factory making wind chimes for piecework pay my co-workers and I would listen to the radio, sing to it and chat about our lives as our fingers moved as quickly as possible tying ceramic pieces with string. When I was a drafting technician the guys didn't talk much, but the women who worked in the office would talk about everything from sex to laundry detergent.

After I got my master's degree at UC Berkeley I entered a "professional" employment world fraught with treachery. Talking too much about personal life or politics was considered not only gauche but dangerous. What people know can be used as ammunition to throw someone off the job ladder we were all supposed to want to climb to the top. The safest topics for conversation consist of those that are specifically job-related. My boss explicitly told me that If things were rocky back home I had to put it all aside and show the world that stiff upper lip.

An article today on Alternet: The Big Squeeze: How Americans are Being Crushed by Financial Insecurity and Doubt illustrates this mentality perfectly. It concludes with the following quote:

"We shouldn’t lose sight of the more invisible, but mounting, resistance of the moral underground. As it grows, it may undermine one of the great social fictions grounding American capitalism: That one leaves one’s morals and politics at the office, factory or store door when one enters the job site. This fiction is based on the well-propagated notion that when one sells one’s labor power one leaves one’s personal beliefs and values at home.  This social fiction is crumbling under the pressure of the Big Squeeze."

The enforced stoicism that makes for such an uncomfortable workplace is giving way to a new reality, one that recognizes the players as human beings and relies upon a new moral imperative to look out for them. This is a significant shift especially for those of us who come from a background full of animated, expressive people who have historically relied on one another to survive. It may help us build a movement to enable us to eke out a future in the bleak landscape of New America. 

Dentists and Mormons

"Drill, Baby, Drill!"

I had an abscessed tooth extracted a couple of years ago (it's in the back) and I haven't had an implant put in because my insurance doesn't pay for it and it costs around $5,000 buckolas. My insurance is going to start paying 50% on implants in July so I'm going to spring for it. The dentist who performed the extraction seemed like a nice, easygoing fellow, so I was planning to request him to be my implant surgeon as well. But when I researched his credendentials online and found out he graduated from Brigham Young University.

As a lesbian, I am quite wary of Mormons. I know there are some queer ones and I have nothing against them but their church helped finance the Proposition 8 campaign here in California rescinding our right to marry the person of our choosing. And yes, I don't like fundamentalists of any other religious persuasion either.

I have a gay male friend who assiduously avoids any medical practitioners that are in any way connected to the Mormon persuasion by conducting a self-administered questionnaire before making an appointment. It was too late for that for me, I was not that vigillant. So I had to settle for a little chat with the surgical assistant to the four dentists who work out of that office.

She seemed shocked that I asked her about homophobia at all. I suppose this question has never come up before. This dentist's relationship to Brigham Young was a long time ago, she said and added that she had never to have witnessed anti-gay behaviour coming from that doctor. I explained to her how important it is for non-traditional people to recieve medical or dental care, untainted by personal prejudices.

She either understood what I was saying or wrote me off as a crazy person, but when I called back the other day to make an appointment for an evaluation, I was only offered appointments with the other three doctors. The Mormon had been taken off the list.

Perhaps they were placating me, or maybe I dodged a bullet. The last homophobic practitioner I went to was a male gynecologist who performed a sugical procedure called an endometrial ablation. It wasn't a pleasant experience physically or emotionally. I knew the next time I found myself seeking medical care I didn't want it to be a date with destiny or Josef Mengele!